Has your parent or loved one recently received a diagnosis of dementia or another age related illness?  How do you feel about it?  Surprised, saddened or perhaps think this cannot be true…perhaps it is all of these.  The one that is considered dangerous is the latter which really is a form of denial.  When adult children or a spouse downplay the diagnosis, it poses a danger to the affected individual.  No one wants to think of losing their parent or spouse.

However by denying the symptoms of memory loss or thinking it cannot be Parkinson’s as there are no tremors puts the affected loved one at risk.  By refusing to accept the diagnosis you run the risk of getting improper care.  You need to have a realistic approach so they receive the proper care from professionals and you.  Learning about the disease and/or dementia will help both you and them.  It will also help you understand the process of the disease and what you will need to be the best caregiver possible.  Always remember that the affected loved one’s safety and security are paramount.

Watching the decline of a loved one can be an emotional roller coaster so you will need to learn to take care of yourself, ask for help when needed and “let go” as you cannot control the progress of the disease you can only give the best care possible for as long as possible.

If there comes a time when you think you may be over your head with the kind of care your loved one needs, then it might be time to consider an alternative for their care.  You are still the primary caregiver only now you can give the emotional support that is needed at this time.  After placing her husband in a memory care facility, a good friend of mine said “now I can be his wife again and not feel like a policeman”.