As a facilitator of support groups, I recently had insight into why so often a person with dementia becomes resistant and uncooperative to directions from their family caregivers.  An attendee said her mother who lived with her for the past 5 years was becoming more and more frustrated and uncooperative.  Facing her own health issues, the caregiver had the opportunity to place her mother in a nice care facility.  The staff said how cooperative and nice her mother was. “Really”?, exclaimed the daughter.  Hard to believe and yet I realized that in a care facility, the staff can only ask or coax a resident to take medicine, bathe, or eat.  They cannot “make” a resident do was it is necessary.  The mother in spite of her dementia somehow knew that she had more of a choice living there, so she was less resistant.  Less directions, more cooperation.

This is not easily done.  Caregivers desire to give their parent/spouse the best of care and yet it often comes with way too many directions and these directions often come too quickly as the caregiver has other things to accomplish during the day.    Sometimes it may be necessary to just “let it go”…maybe hide the medicine in applesauce or cereal.  What ever is takes to make it easier for the caregiver and less frustrating for the person with dementia.