The Good Daughter is the woman who is trying to do it all and be a total success at everything to everyone in her life, often forgetting about herself. This means you put yourself at the end of the to-do list.  You may have a spouse, children, a career as well as your responsibilities to home and community.  However no matter how busy you are or how far you rise, at the end of the day, you bear the physical and emotional responsibility of your family.

Women have this in their genetic code, so their babies would be feed and cared for. Having this loving gene, can have them care too much.  Additionally, women are socialized to be caregivers.  Frequently male relatives or siblings get “the-knight-in-shining-armor” award from the parents although the daughter is the one

who takes on most of the care-giving responsibilities.  Also by being female, it is cultural.  When someone asks you why you do everything for your parent and keep on doing it, you may answer, “I am the daughter; I am supposed to do this”.

The caring woman does not seem to realize that it is OK to ask for or seek help. Maybe you do not ask because you are a good daughter and you want to be the one who makes everything “right”.  Many times you may go to extremes in your attempts to make others happy, feel better or stop complaining—and sometimes to win your parents approval.

Why are you trying to do it all yourself? Do you think it is your duty?  Do you think you are the only one that can give the “right kind” of care?  Are you afraid that your older adult will criticize or make your life miserable if you seek outside help?

If you think you can take on all the responsibilities of caregiving and not have affect you physically, mentally and/or emotionally, you are seriously mistaken. There are countless studies that show caregivers are more prone to high blood pressure, depression and illness that the older adult who is receiving the care.  Also the caring woman, the good daughter, has a 45% chance of becoming seriously ill or dying before the older adult who is receiving the care.

YES, it is true! If you keep trying to do it all without reprieve, respite or supplemental help from family, friends or paid care providers you will get sick and/or depressed. What happens is that the constant and ongoing care and stress compromise your immune system, which becomes depleted and wears out.  Many times you do not feel the effect until it is too late and the health crisis or illness comes crashing down on you.  Don’t fool yourself!  By trying to do it all by yourself you will affect your health and then you become the second patient.  Now who is going to give the care to the older adult?